While the rest of the world hid in the air conditioning, soon-to-be-exes Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes took the opportunity to sneak into their lawyers’ offices over the weekend. It seems the couple are hoping to work out a settlement before their scheduled July 17 showdown in court, which is shaping up to be the summer harvest of hungry gossip columns everywhere.

While Holmes filed for divorce and sole custody of daughter Suri in New York, Cruise’s side isn’t letting much slip as far as strategy. “It’s not Tom’s style to do this publicly. He is really sad about what’s happening,” his lawyer, Bert Fields, tells BBC News. “We are letting ‘the other side’ play the media until they wear everyone out, and then we’ll have something to say.”

Of course, Team Cruise is totally “playing the media” with a statement like this, but sure, we’ll bite. Not only is it amazingly passive-aggressive — our favorite flavor of aggressive over here — but we’re sick of watching Katie Holmes parade around Whole Foods in chirpy little sundresses. Lady, if you’re going to pretend you’re being hunted by the scary Scientologists, at least wear sneakers.

Kris Humphries stands alone

It seems everyone has had enough of Kris Humphries. After reports that his Kim Kardashian rebound, ex-girlfriend Myla Sinanaj, is pregnant, his publicist dropped him as a client.

“They went different ways because Kris was becoming too much to handle. These stories about him [dating] girls would pop up [in the press], and he’d deny it — then it would turn out to be true,” a source tells Life & Style. “Kris tries to put on this innocent, good-hearted image, but as you get to know him, it just doesn’t turn out to be true.”

Unfortunately, being a scheming drama queen won’t get you fired from this page. Kris, buddy, we’ll check in tomorrow.

Want to hang with Gwen Stefani?

After fellow celebs George Clooney and Sarah Jessica Parker invited the Obama campaign over for a party, Gwen Stefani is hosting a “Family Fun Day” at her home with Michelle Obama. For $1,000, a family of four can head over to enjoy some “child-friendly campaign fun” at her L.A. mansion on August 12.

Does this include playing dress up with her No Doubt wardrobe? If so, completely worth it — and dibs on that polka dot “Don’t Speak” dress, you sticky little patriots.