Worst of Craigslist: Childcare Red Flags

Well this sounds fucking terrifying.

I’d charge at least $12.

Thin line there, buddy. Thin line.

I guess Old Man Bitten by Raccoon in his Garage is a big breaking news story up there in Doylestown.

Because when you’re putting the welfare of your child in someone else’s hands, the most important qualification to look for is “cheap.”

Also a red flag: childcare that offers a discount for paying in cash.

How can a preschool be organic? Was it grown without pesticides and genetically modified organisms? Side: what is a “brain gym” and whatever happened to just playing outside?

I feel like by now, when doing business through Craigslist, any mention of Nigeria should be an automatic dealbreaker.

Not sure if this is a total joke, but I treasure the mental image of people
in double layers of denim fleeing mosquitoes and performing amateur bird
autopsies. “Lansdaliens” couldn’t be more accurate.

Um, what?

I didn’t even know that a low-hanging ball fetish was a thing.

So, minus the pretentious-speak, you’re looking for somebody to bang.

How does one lose a ferret?

Be real, dude. A pretty blonde in a white bikini and you’re not looking to “hook up”?