Worst of Craigslist Weekend: Social Idiots

Craigslist is a place where people reach out to others to fulfill their needs, give or get advice and validate their anonymous rants. Many are just seeking a human connection.

However, being that these posters are seeking a human connection through a computer and all, it’s kind of a given that they don’t always know the best ways to navigate social interactions.

Which comes with possibly unintended but hilarious consequences.

I didn’t know apocalyptic anti-government conspiracy theorists went bowling.

I really hope this actually happened.

Purple pinstripes? Don’t Stop Believin’ singalong? Sure you didn’t make a wrong turn somewhere and end up on a party bus in Manayunk?

Word: douchebag. Definition: you.

Trousers? Olde Kensington? Of course you’re from Brooklyn.

I don’t think crabs are capable of knowing anything.

Umm, FYI: women are not a separate species.

Have you changed your shirt in those three weeks? Perhaps that is the reason things have not gone any further. P.S. a conversation requires two speakers. Just a thought.

AND frozen mice? What a terrific deal!

Yep, no weirdos. Because this is not weird at all.

You want a puppy so you can name it after your pro-wrestling idol’s dead dog? That makes perfect sense, kind of like your grammar.

Yes. We especially fantasize about canned ketchup.

Really? This person has got to be a Midwestern transplant. Or a psychopath who will whack you over the head and cut out a kidney when you come to claim your lost twenty.

Sure they’re easy to keep. They’re freaking bugs.

Live New Moon readings via network? Since when did the “timekeepers” get all high-tech?

You don’t know where to go to meet people because you’re into cats, dinosaurs, climbing trees and science. Hence, there is really no place to meet people, save a grade school robotics club.

Are you calling interracial couples strange?

I can actually get behind this. Count me in.

Starting a little early there, dude?

This is what online shopping is for (well, not specifically, but it would seem to serve an expedient purpose here).

Some people hate the end of summer because it means going back to school, other people … have foot fetishes.

I would think staying on the road would be a good idea in general.