Zombies and spaceships and wastelands — oh my!

Patton Oswalt decided to share some not-very-flattering details in his new memoir — including how he wasted his time on the Internet while not writing it.

“It’s really like a syndrome or something,” admits the comedian, who isn’t ashamed of his spiteful Facebook tendencies. “It’s a problem. I want distraction; I need distraction.”

Occasional chapters of “Zombie, Spaceship, Wasteland” end with a “full disclosure” box, providing an amusing insight into his procrastination — muted space-shooter games, “Breakfast Club” trivia binges, YouTube pwnage compilations — as well as a welcome revelation that the successful comedian and actor hasn’t totally abandoned his roots as a nerdy, REM-obsessed teenager working in an underground movie theater.

Fans of Oswalt’s stand-up (or 2009 film “Big Fan”) won’t be surprised by the darker tone of his book. But if you’re only familiar with his “King of Queens” character, then his hilariously dismal take on starting out as a comic, chapter of trippy greeting cards and urban vampire comic interlude might be unexpected.

Although none of it is nearly as dark or foreboding as his account of visiting an MTV gifting suite with hungry hordes of the tanned and entitled.

“That was one of those horrible things that immediately affects you and you need to write it down or deal with it,” he remembers, obviously with some residual pain. “I called a lot of people after that.”